I was born nasty
Got the nasty gene
Say somethin’ nice to me
I’ll say somethin’ quite obscene

I was nasty even as a baby
Got no smiles from the ladies
Gave out a constant wail or scream
I was my parents’ nightmare dream

At school, I was the nasty lad
The school joker, the loathsome cad
Became the most caned boy in school
Teachers called me a nasty tool

I was born nasty
Got the nasty gene
Say somethin’ nice to me
I’ll say somethin’ quite obscene

At work, people stay out of my way
Afraid to ask ‘So, how’s your day?’
They know I’ll rabbit on about my woes
No love life, sick finances, gouty toes

I’ll take my nastiness into old age
In the nursing home, you’ll see me rage
And when put to lie in my coffin space
Undertaker put a nasty scowl on my face

I was born nasty,
Got the nasty gene
Say somethin’ nice to me
I’ll say somethin’ quite obscene